ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
this will be a night to untag.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
