either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
