whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
