dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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