Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
