i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
