I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
