I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize