Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Small penises have feelings too.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
