What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Randomize
