I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
