Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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