If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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