You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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