i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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