Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
