i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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