so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
