Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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