Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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