I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
