how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
