Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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