Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
