you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
