so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
