Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
