the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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