I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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