high people should be assigned attendants
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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