he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
