WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize