She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
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Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He shit in the fireplace
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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