i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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