you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
