i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
