I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
