I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
