Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
