i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
nutella sex= disaster
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize