I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
