Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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