are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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