DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
