similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
