An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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