he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
