two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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