Slut skills are useful in every country.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
