My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
