He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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