i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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