the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
