I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
