And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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