I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
