Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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