a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
