HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
