Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
