Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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